If you notice your child is not acting the same, acting out, etc. try:

• Sitting down with them after school and opening a dialogue with the child. If the child wishes not to talk don’t force them but, make the school aware of what you are noticing. Often schools can get to the bottom of what is going on.

• Listen for key words such as I hate life, I hate school, I hate "person". Ask for follow up details like you don’t quite understand. Children often blurt out information they are aware of but, it takes adults longer to see the whole picture.

• Kids say the worst things but, often they don’t mean them. It is there level of frustration that disenables them to deal with some situations in the correct fashion. If so seek some help for them with a mental health counselor.

• Look for pattern changes such as attitude, concentration on homework, stress, isolation, and defiancy.
  
  At bedtime is the best time to find out information from children as they are more open to talking. This is also the time that children reflect on their day and tend to worry the most about the next day.
  
  Having family discussion will further open dialogue and can be seen as a good way for them to express anxieties at school or other places.
  
  Never approach the bullies parents, as this is a job for either the school, or the police (if outside of school). Parents often can get offended when they hear bad things about their child, and it needs to take place in a neutral environment. It is also known that the offending children come from backgrounds of abuse.
  
  If you find that your child has been bullied:
  
  Call the school if during hours of operation.
  
  Write a report to www.CAABI.org to follow up on and we will communicate with the corresponding school.
  
  Find out pertinent information about the children that are doing the bullying and what happened in the incident. Be thorough.
  
  Find out any threats that have been made toward your child, and if it pertains to outside of school; contact the police.
  
  If abuse to your child from another child has occurred call the police and file charges, notify the school if it was on school property, or the activity center they attended.
  
  Please note that most schools only file one simple charge on the student(s) so, your best bet is to file the charges yourself, and let the school know what charges you have filed to keep track of.
  
  Why is it good to file charges?
  
  This is a track record for the child that follows them into more serious offenses later on. Children often don't think about how this will affect them, or how judges or JCS look at these records.

         As a parent, when you are going through this, it is important to know that you have to:

• Become the expert on bullying.
• Document everything!!